


In the Details

by tangiblewhimsy



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: JE Holiday, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 10:22:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/621065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangiblewhimsy/pseuds/tangiblewhimsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matsumoto Jun will do anything to be a star—but does that include selling his soul? Apparently not, but Devil's Apprentice Nino doesn't take 'no' for an answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Details

**Author's Note:**

  * For [auburn_witch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/auburn_witch/gifts).



> For [je_hols](http://je-holiday.livejournal.com/) 2012.

"I..." Nino declared dramatically, sweeping into a low bow. "...Am the Devil!"

Jun's brow furrowed as his bewilderment turned to incredulity. It was an odd expression for his otherwise cherubic young face to have, but that only made it all the more amusing.

"No," Jun said, finally coming to a conclusion. "No, you're not."

Nino's smirk didn't falter, although he did stand as he dropped his arms from their grandiose pose to hang at his sides and shrugged.

"You're right, I'm not," Nino admitted, starting to dig through the front pocket of his old, faded blue jeans. Pulling out an inexplicably untarnished and crisp white business card, Nino held it out for the young talent to take. When Jun did not reach out for it Nino rolled his eyes and stepped forward to physically place it in his hand.

 

It had taken him a while, but Nino could admit that he kind of loved kids. They were energetic and far more creative than teenagers and adults. They were also more willing to accept certain things, such as the possibility of magic and wishes. Best of all, they hadn't yet finished sorting out the whole 'good vs. evil' thing.

Some may have considered him especially diabolical for courting younger souls, but Nino always liked to point out that there was no rule _against_ it. Admittedly the practice wasn't exactly encouraged, but coming in as one of the top reapers in his division made Nino feel more than justified in his methods. 

And in Nino's defense, it was his job.

"My name is Nino, and while I may not be the Devil himself I am vested with the full authority to give you anything you want," Nino explained as Jun puzzled over the card.

"Anything I want?" Jun repeated, remaining unconvinced but intrigued just the same. He was eyeing Nino as if trying to decide whether or not he was crazy. The fact that he hadn't made up his mind yet was encouraging.

"Anything you want," Nino confirmed with a nod.

Jun chewed his lips in thought.

"Why me?" Jun asked at length, and though he maintained his suspicious glare Nino knew when he was closing a deal.

"Because you are full of ambition," Nino explained, sticking his hands back in his pockets and rocking on the balls of his feet casually. "We like that. Knowing what you want is an admirable trait! And you've still got your soul."

"My _soul?_ " Jun repeated, his icy façade dropping to reveal clear alarm.

Nino was unfazed.

"You'd be surprised how many people have lost theirs. Kids'll sell their souls for a candy bar these days. It's kind of sad, really," Nino sighed. Allowing a moment to mourn the decaying moral fabric of society, Nino snapped back to himself with a clap of his hands. "But not you! You've still got yours all shiny and intact. And if you're up for a trade I'm sure we can work out a deal."

"No."

Jun's response was so immediate and forceful that Nino had to take a moment. That had not been the response he'd been anticipating. He wasn't any stranger to skeptics and hard-sells, however, so he kept his friendliest smile firmly in place as he took a step forward to pat the boy on the shoulder.

"It's really not as scary as the movies make it out to be," Nino promised, doing his best not to show on his face the flare of annoyance that swelled in his chest as Jun shrugged him off.

"I'm not afraid," Jun said. "I just don't believe you."

Nino's friendly grin turned more genuine and he laughed in spite of himself. Adults you could always count on to be suspicious, but kids as young as 10 tended to be hit-or-miss. Nino wasn't sure he'd ever met one with such a severe attitude about it, though. It was even more adorable when Jun's ears turned pink as he started to get mad, probably for being laughed at.

"Of course you don't!" Nino nodded, lacing his fingers and putting his hands behind his head. He was going to try not to be patronizing, but he wouldn't make any promises.

"You're smart, Jun-chan. That's another thing we like about you. Smart and ambitious are two amazing qualities and they can get you far," Nino nodded sagely. "But... I can get you even further."

Jun remained stubbornly silent, his expression impassive beyond a sullen glare.

"Would you like a demonstration?" Nino offered graciously.

"No." Once again Jun's answer was both immediate and firm.

"Isn't there anything you want? C'mon, you can tell me," Nino crooned and leaned in close.

"I don't need your help," Jun said as he squared his slight shoulders defiantly.

"Are you sure about that?"

It was minute, but Nino caught the way Jun's confidence faltered. Self-doubt wasn't always the strongest tool, but it did tend to be the easiest crack in a child's armor to exploit.

 

Matsumoto Jun has known what he was going to be since he was four years old. Not what he wanted to be, what he was _going_ to be. Jun got a rush from being on a stage in front of people that he'd never been able to experience in any other arena. It fueled him, energized him; it was a bolt of lightning right into his brain and all down his spine. Nothing could compare.

His parents were firm about limiting his exposure to the talent industry when he was younger. Their logic was that it was difficult enough for children to concentrate on school without being pulled every which way by auditions, photo shoots and more. At the age of 10 he'd finally matured to a point where he could understand their reasoning, but that didn't mean he wasn't itching for the end of the school term. He wasn't out of grade school yet, but he was old enough to at least make a case for himself that his parents might understand.

Jun's sister had been his biggest ally. She'd started modeling in middle school and was still working off and on now that she was in high school. She was definitely proof that it was possible to do both work and school, even if Jun's marks weren't always as good. With her help, Jun settled on the top three agencies that were most likely to help him achieve his goals and were accepting applications for child talents. Although he had filled out the paperwork for all three, there was really only one he was determined to get.

"Johnny's Juniors..." His mother read, looking over his application before signing her permission. "Why them?"

For Jun, the reason was simple enough.

"They get to be on TV," he said, although his mother's expression told him it wasn't a good enough explanation. So he tried to clarify, "They're seen by the most people, they have the largest audience."

Jun's mother looked at her son. She seemed impressed with his argument, and while having to defend his thoughts and decisions could be stressful, Jun had to admit that he enjoyed the feeling of pride he got from making a particularly good point to his parents. His mother gave a shrug and quickly added her signature to the required forms before sliding them back into the already addressed envelope to send out to mail. 

All Jun had to do was wait. Unfortunately, Jun was not good at waiting.

He wouldn't call himself impatient (even if he absolutely was). It was just hard to deal with the fact that the rest of the world didn't move as quickly as his brain did. Jun wasn't the smartest kid, but when he figured things out and came up with a plan, he acted on it swiftly and worked until his goal was accomplished. It was only when some part of his plan depended on the cooperation or review of others, taking the reins out of his hands, did he start to get anxious.

Jun waited three days before he started checking the mail obsessively. He knew that it was a long shot that he'd get an answer so soon, but it was worth checking. Every day he'd come home from school, check the mail, and then enter the house to check the messages. Then to make sure he'd ask his mother if there had been any calls for him, just in case. After a whole week went by without any word, Jun began to worry.

He tried to console himself that sometimes it took more than a month for candidates to get called back. It was a fact that did nothing to dampen the commingling sense of disappointment and dread that spiked as he went through the mail and once again found nothing but coupons and bills. So distracted was Jun that he did not even notice when a boy around his age appeared at his shoulder.

 

"How about I give you one on the house?" Nino offered with a lazy grin. "Nothing huge, mind you, just a taste. You aren't by chance expecting a phone call with some good news, are you?"

"Is this the part where some friend of yours calls and claims I won a lottery of some kind?" Jun scoffed, his resolve returning with vengeance.

Rather than answer, Nino turned his attention from Jun to the front door of the Matsumoto house. He was still grinning that stupid, smug grin and Jun was about to demand he leave when he heard the front door.

"Jun-chan!" Jun's sister called from the front step before letting out an alarming but decidedly excited squeal. As she ran down the steps of the porch and made for her little brother, Nino didn't see any reason to delay.

"You've got my card. Just say 'you were right' and I'll be there," Nino said.

As Jun was swiped off of his feet in a hug by his incoherently excited older sister as she gushed about something regarding Johnny's Entertainment, the last he saw of Nino was the boy holding up his hand like a telephone and mouthing 'Call me!'

 

Only Jun didn't call.

Nino even waited a respectable amount of time, long enough for the star-shine and shock of suddenly being part of one of the most prolific idol agencies in the country to wear off. Wasn't it only human nature to be curious about coincidences? The species even had a psychologically ingrained habit of seeing patterns and meaning where none existed! Nino wasn't so much baffled, however, as he was annoyed.

Nino knew that kids could be stubborn, but he also knew that more often than not they put trust in others. Many kids were aware of the limits of their knowledge when it came to how the world worked. Early adolescence was an especially apt time to approach them because they were just entering onto the cusp between True Childhood and Growing Up.

Matsumoto Jun, however, appeared to take his stubbornness one step further. To the point of resolutely ignoring any niggling curiosity or fear that tickled the edges of his mind when he wondered about the events surrounding his invitation to join Johnny's Juniors by Mr. Kitagawa himself.

Being stubborn in his own right, however, Nino resolved to bide his time. He watched and waited, doing his best to reassess Jun and his potential weaknesses. As he watched, though, Nino could admit to being impressed.

Jun was a legitimately hard worker and threw himself completely into lessons. The kid wasn't exactly a natural talent, but he seemed aware of this fact and worked doubly hard in an attempt to compensate. Usually overcompensation was a good sign, it was indicative of a confidence issue that could open a dialogue between Nino and his younger clients. _Usually_.

As he continued with his observations, Nino realized that part of the reason why Jun worked so hard was because he'd made it into the company without any real hurdles. He got shit from other boys about it—not a lot, but enough to matter. Nino also realized that the intensity of Jun's determination to prove he deserved to be in the company was... kind of his fault.

Being elevated above the normal admissions process would have been reason enough to want to work harder, but Nino had put the thought in Jun's mind that his being a Johnny possibly had _nothing_ to do with his own merits. Of course, this in turn made Jun all the more tenacious in his efforts to prove he belonged.

Who would have thought a grade-schooler had such a strong work ethic?

Nino was never one to baulk at a challenge, however. While his normal targets tended to skew younger in age, he did see more opportunities arising as the young Matsumoto progressed into the turbulence of his teenage years.

 

Jun hated _everything_. School, home, work, friends at both school and work—and that was only the short list. He had a much longer one, one which included his hair, his teeth, his skin, his voice... Jun hated his body on the whole, and more and more frequently it gave him the impression that the feeling was mutual. And it seemed especially vindictive whenever Sakurai Sho was involved.

Jun had friends among the Juniors. It was hard not to make friends with people you saw nearly every day for years! But they were all mostly equals. Everyone had their strengths and weaknesses, but they encouraged one another and worked hard together to improve themselves and their chances at the ever elusive reward of an official debut. But Sakurai-kun was different from anyone Jun was really friends with.

Sakurai-kun was interesting because he was cool despite the fact he didn't seem to be especially good at anything. That wasn't to say he was untalented! Jun had marveled at Sakurai-kun's vocabulary and his ability to put together rhymes he rapped backstage for the amusement of other juniors. He was also full of all kinds of crazy facts and shared them with anyone who would listen. He was smart and he was funny and he was just nice to everyone, taking it upon himself to talk to and approach people for no other reason than because they were there. He was pro-active and caring and someone that helped out the younger kids, even if he couldn't really do backflips himself and could only offer moral support.

He also had an amazing voice that was deep and smooth (at least when he was speaking normally), and a nice jaw, and an amazing mouth, and, and, and... And Jun really had trouble _not_ thinking about him when he was around. Or even when he wasn't around. When he wasn't even a topic of conversation. Jun wouldn't call himself obsessed (although he might have been. Just a little bit.), but he could admit that he probably spent too much time wondering what Sakurai-kun was doing or thinking or wearing (or _not_ wearing).

The worst part was that when Jun spent so much time thinking, he was startled to find himself in a situation where speaking was suddenly required. Whereas with his friends he could speak freely and with confidence, in front of Sakurai-kun and _his_ friends, Jun's mouth took off without him. By the time his brain caught up he'd usually said or done something very strange, or at the very least awkward. He'd laugh with Sakurai-kun and the rest of them, face going red with embarrassment as he did his best not to let on how painfully uncomfortable it was to try and continue a conversation he'd somehow been responsible for turning to the topic of girls and sex with girls.

Jun didn't really like girls. He didn't have anything against them; he was even friends with a few. But he didn't really like them and he definitely, definitely didn't want to have sex with them. At first Jun tried to convince himself he just wasn't mature enough yet to be interested, he just hadn't found his 'type'. But when Sakurai-kun would call him 'Jun-chan' and his insides would squirm around like so many happy snakes on fire, Jun knew he was never going to be mature enough to be interested in sex with girls. So of course it was all the more crushing when Sakurai-kun passed around his cell phone one day during break to show off a picture of a cute girl he'd apparently started dating.

It was dumb that he should feel rejected when he hadn't even tried to make a move. Besides, it wasn't anymore Sakurai-kun's fault that he liked girls than it was Jun's fault that he... _didn't_. Not that Jun had ever expected for things to go anywhere with Sakurai-kun, but it had been nice to have that excited feeling of potential that came with a crush. Like certain words or gestures maybe meant something, that he might be liked a little more than some of Sakurai-kun's other friends. Jun hated himself for how self-centered it seemed, but it had been nice to feel like he might be special to someone, even if just a little bit.

Jun sighed as he gave up fumbling for his keys and just stood on the front doorstep of his house. It was late but the porch light was still on. He had a paper to write and probably three—no, four chapters of math. He was too tired to be hungry, but he hadn't eaten in hours. Even so, he was finding it difficult to care about any of it. What was he _doing_ with his life?

"Aww, why so glum, Junpon?"

 

Nino stood just inside the low gate leading up to Jun's house. His smile was likely too cheery for the mood, but if he'd been reading the circumstances correctly it wouldn't really matter how he smiled at the boy before him.

"Who the hell are you?" Jun asked gruffly, standing straighter as he turned to face his 'guest'.

Nino gave Jun a moment, taking advantage of the shadows cast by a passing car's headlamps to project the younger visage he'd offered the boy when they'd first met. When Jun froze, eyes bulging with shock and recognition, Nino shook his head and chuckled.

"You've got the most expressive face," Nino said, climbing the few steps to stand on the porch with Jun. "It's cute."

Jun's shock was easily overpowered by a dark scowl. Turning back to his door, Jun began digging in his pocket once more.

"The offer's still open, you know," Nino hummed, twirling Jun's pilfered house keys around his left index finger.

Saying nothing, Jun glared death at Nino, jaw working tensely before he reached out to snatch back his keys. Nino didn't try to obstruct Jun's path, merely leaned against the outside wall of the house blithely.

"Anything you want really does mean _anything_ ," Nino continued conversationally as Jun struggled to get his key to turn in the lock. When multiple attempts failed, he pulled it out and began searching for a different key.

"Sex is easy, of course, but love isn't outside the realm of possibility either," he said, letting his head lull to his shoulder as he watched Jun continue to argue with the front door. "It's a myth that we can't make love happen. Admittedly it's not cheap, but that's what negotiations are for. People like to feel as though they're 'really' getting something for their soul, even though none of you know what it is or how it works."

Giving up on the keys, Jun pulled back his fist and punched the door with a deafening _crack!_ Reeling back, Jun dropped his keys as he cradled his right hand in his left, his voice breaking as he swore loudly.

"I can see you're upset," Nino said, not even flinching when Jun's only response was a bestial snarl. "Tell you what, we'll talk again when you've calmed down some. 'Kay?" Giving Jun a light pat on his right shoulder (which was answered by a wide, ill-aimed swipe with Jun's left hook that missed) Nino whistled softly as he marched back down the steps, through the gate, and up the street.

Jun was still so furious that it took him until he got to his bedroom to notice that his right hand not only wasn't broken but didn't even hurt anymore.

Not wanting to give Jun too much time or space to get his head on completely straight, Nino moved quickly. It was easy enough to fit in among a crowd of faceless, attractive teens all in practically the same work out cloths. He even joined in some of the practice dances for a giggle or two before watching for when Jun took his break.

"How's the hand?" Nino asked casually, sucking down half a bottle of water before holding it out in offering to Jun; who promptly ignored him.

Undeterred, Nino turned his attention to the crowd of boys milling about the practice hall. His gaze found his target quickly enough and he gave and approving hum as Sakurai Sho stripped a sweatshirt off to reveal a tight, sweat-damp tank top.

"Well damn," Nino swore, leaning casually against the back of a folding chair. "I can see where someone like that could burrow his way into your head and make himself a nice little nest."

Jun remained admirably nonplussed.

"In all seriousness, Jun-chan, it's really not har—Jun-chan?"

Nino stared openly as Jun got up from where he'd been seated beside Nino on the floor. Rather than just storming out, the boy marched purposefully across the room and toward Sakurai and his friends. Jun's entrance into whatever conversation was being had was not smooth. In fact, it was painfully awkward to watch. Nino could only imagine what he was saying or doing, but the fact was that he was saying and doing it alone.

Frowning deeply, Nino pulled back into the ether once again. He couldn't be certain, but Nino was confident that he'd never been turned down twice before, especially not with such a loud 'fuck you' attached. On the one hand, it made him all the more determined to get Matsumoto Jun's soul onto his ledger. On the other, he honestly took no pleasure in watching Jun get harshly chastised by a frustrated and uncomfortable Sakurai not even a year later.

 

While Jun didn't blame Sakurai-kun for avoiding him, it didn't hurt any less. He really hadn't meant to come on so strong, he'd just gotten... over-eager. Jun had problems figuring out social boundaries, but it seemed as though he was becoming really good at discovering them by shooting right over the line of acceptable behavior and straight into annoying and awkward. While previously Jun had managed to play it off as being a little foolish, he was beginning to reach his limit for public humiliation.

His first and strongest instinct was to bite everything back and pretend nothing was wrong. In doing so, Jun withdrew and coped by concentrating solely on any task he could find. During classes and practice he'd be focused on steps or exercises, during filming he focused on performing his role for the audience and the camera.

Jun began to live for filming days. He wasn't the best actor, but being given a chance to be anyone but himself, to escape from all of the feelings of inadequacy, doubt, self-pity and self-loathing was something he needed. Even if it was just for a few hours, even if the role he was playing was his own public image; so long as he could be Matsumoto Jun: Junior Talent instead of Matsumoto Jun: Human Train Wreck, Jun could find a way to make it from one week to the next.

Eventually it got to a point where Jun didn't feel so bad all of the time. Although perhaps it would have been more accurate to say that Jun made it to a point where he just _didn't feel_ most of the time. When something finally made it through to him, Jun usually wished it hadn't.

Jun wasn't sure how, but it took him several weeks to notice that outside of work he hadn't been speaking with much of anyone. He could admit that he hadn't been very interested in socializing or conversation, too preoccupied with trying to keep his shit together. As the fog of self-preservationist apathy began to lift, however, Jun was coming to see that he'd managed to drift from the few friends he'd managed to make. While he understood that he should be upset about the loss of friendships on the whole, Jun mostly found himself _surprised_ —and crushed to discover he was so utterly and completely _alone_.

As he watched a group of boys (a number of which he considered friends) heading down the street after practice and talking excitedly about a party he hadn't been invited to, Jun for once wasn't surprised when he turned back and found Nino at his shoulder.

 

For once, Nino wasn't sure what he was doing. He was a tactician; he never went to task without a plan. Over the years, however, Jun had managed to side-step any scheming Nino had done. At this point a lesser man (or devil, as the case may be) would have likely thrown in the towel. Nino's presence could only really be attributed to his mulish personality.

"How've you been, Jun-chan?" Nino asked conversationally, seeing no reason not to be personable.

For the first time in years Jun wasn't looking at him with complete and utter loathing. It was kind of disconcerting, but though he shifted on his feet Nino did his best not to be put off by it.

"Okay, I guess," Jun shrugged as he crossed his arms over his chest. The posture seemed comfortable rather than defensive, a boy simply standing in a way that had become natural to him over time.

They regarded one another silently for a minute that stretched on for hours. Nino waited for Jun to elaborate while Jun (Nino could only assume) appeared to be waiting for him to carry on the conversation. Jun showed no impatience, no short-temper.

"Life doesn't have to be so hard, you know," Nino started, seeing no reason to beat around the bush. Jun knew what he was here for, after all. When Jun said nothing, simply continued to watch him quietly, Nino continued.

"Some struggle is a good thing, you don't know your limits if you're never pushed to them. But this, the pain that's so constant you don't even notice it anymore, the weariness that's started to seep into your bones even though you're only a kid? Why would you want to keep things the way they are now?" Nino asked, and though he knew it was risky he dropped any smugness in a rare moment of genuine curiosity.

Jun's gaze fell to somewhere between them and he appeared to actually be considering Nino's question. As he waited, Nino found that he really wanted an honest answer. Why _would_ Jun keep his life this way? He'd known about a way out since he was 10, why had he let things go so far without taking the opportunity to make his life even the littlest bit less painful? Perhaps Nino was selfish, but he just didn't get it.

After a thoughtful pause, Jun finally opened his mouth to speak.

"Maybe," he nodded slowly, looking up with a hallow sullenness in his eyes. If Nino had a heart it would have skipped a beat. "Maybe you were—"

"MatsuJun!"

Nino and Jun turned at the same time, one with a wide-eyed expression of alarm and the other with mild curiosity at best. Trotting towards them from the exit door of the practice hall, a tall, lanky youth with reddish brown hair waved and grinned. As he obscured himself from the boy's conscious vision, Nino recognized him as one of the various talents that Jun worked with and at one point socialized with, but his sudden appearance was still off-putting.

"Aiba-kun..." Jun answered, turning around completely to face the newcomer as the boy slowed to a stop before them. When Nino turned to eye Jun it was with the panicked realization that the empty gaze from moments before was quickly fading likely taking with it the closest chance he'd had at getting Jun's soul in years.

"I'm so glad I caught you," Aiba said, panting slightly from his run as he ran a hand through his hair. "You've been so hard to get ahold of lately! It's like you disappear the second practice is over."

"I..." Jun paused and Nino could see the boy's brain working hard to right itself.

Aiba waited a moment, but when Jun continued to stare at him as a deer caught in the headlights he forged ahead as though nothing were amiss. Nino actually had to admire the skill, as he was also versed in the matter of continuing a conversation one-sided.

"Look! I just got a cell phone," Aiba said, pulling out a flip phone that was an odd metallic shade that couldn't decide if it was trying to be pink or gold, depending on the lighting. "I know I’m way behind, but since we're going to Kyoto soon my parents finally said I could have one." When Jun continued to say nothing, Aiba's smile remained in place as he flipped the phone open and began tapping at the keys. "You've got one, right? You should give me your number and your mail address!"

Jun turned his head imperceptibly to glance at Nino, who could do nothing but stare back. Jun had been about to cave, Nino could feel it in his little blackened bones. He knew that he should say something, do _something_ to try and pull Jun back, but before Nino could settle on a course of action Jun's attention had returned to Aiba as he reached out to take the boy's phone silently.

Aiba resumed chatting animatedly almost immediately as Nino withdrew into the ether. The lost opportunity would have been reason enough for Nino to feel out of sorts, but the fact that he couldn't honestly say he was angry or upset was more disconcerting by far.

 

Jun survived puberty. Looking back he wasn't entirely sure _how_ , aside from sheer force of will. In truth he knew it was likely optimistic to claim that it was all over now that he was barely into his 20s, but he'd at least learned and adapted. His acne had mostly cleared up and his braces were finally off, and although he sounded unpleasantly nasal to his own ears he had to admit that when he spoke in a lower register he didn't sound so bad. And while he couldn't take credit for how his voice had turned out, the rest Jun could say proudly that he'd accomplished on his own.

He'd worked for his image, he'd sacrificed for it, he'd poured hours of practice, and a great deal of his own money into fixing and tweaking _everything_. And it had finally paid off: he'd gotten to debut. Even better, he wasn't thrown in with a bunch of people he barely knew so he didn't have to fumble through the awkwardness of trying to adjust to brand new personalities.

Toma had been picked to come with him, and YamaPi. There'd been whispers that the pair was going to debut as a duo on their own, and Jun had done his best not to be jealous of his friends and their rumored good fortune. Toma, at least, worked just as hard as Jun did, and he knew it. That didn't mean he wasn't filled with a sense of victory and vindication when his name was announced, too.

More than anything, though, he was grateful for Aiba.

Toma and Pi were good friends. Jun got along with them both well enough and although he and Toma could argue forever about the details of how things should or should not work, it was never contentious. At the end of the day, Jun knew that all Toma wanted was for them to do the very best that they were capable of, and Toma knew that Jun's interests were exactly the same. But there was still friction at times, moments when Jun was harsher than he needed to be or even meant to be. Pi would always step in to try and end the conflict, but Aiba was always the one who could set the mood back on track.

Aiba wasn't a buffer. He didn't shield anyone from anything. What he was, however, was someone who accepted how Jun worked. Thinking about it now, Jun could admit that Aiba probably had a lot to do with how he'd managed to survive his teenage years, the insanity of debuting, and now the stress of steadily growing popularity. He was the one person who had always been there, no matter what kind of outburst Jun had or who he'd had it at. He knew when Jun was sorry and didn't drag the words out of him, and he accepted when Jun tried to make it up to him in other ways.

Aiba's friendship was easy and unconditional—which was probably why it hurt so much.

Jun sat on his hotel bed pretending to read _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_. He'd picked it up with the intention of _actually_ reading it, but found it impossible to concentrate. With the way Aiba kept giggling at messages on his phone it was a wonder anyone could concentrate on anything. The alarm clock on the nightstand between their beds hit 12:30 AM and Aiba excused himself like clockwork to 'get some ice'.

This had been happening almost every night for the duration of their tour. Jun didn't know who it was that Aiba was going to see, but what he did know was that Aiba would always come stumbling back to the room in the early hours of the morning smelling of cigarettes and beer and sometimes other things Jun really didn't want to think about. And that was if Aiba made it back to the room at all.

Jun could admit to being jealous. He was jealous of friendships, of talent, of attention. He was unfortunately a very jealous person. Because of this, however, he'd mostly learned to curb the insecurities and negative feelings; he'd managed to train himself to listen to reason when it tried to explain that he really should not be taking these things personally. But where Aiba was concerned, Jun had a far steeper learning curve.

The lights were off and Jun was in bed. The room was the deafening kind of silent, so full of stillness he could practically choke on it. He'd tried falling asleep but it just wasn't happening. At risk of looking like he was waiting up he'd decided against grabbing his book again and merely stared up at the ceiling, watching the shadows move.

There was a wriggle of the door handle and the sound of someone slumping unsteadily against the hotel door. Jun was about ready to forget feigning sleep to get up and help when finally Aiba managed to master the keycard. Closing his eyes, Jun listened to Aiba's footfalls, softened by the plush carpet of their room. They paused between the beds and for a moment Jun thought his friend had collapsed onto the bed opposite him and passed out. He was surprised to hear Aiba cough and have the sound be just above his own head.

Jun held his breath, thinking about all of the things he could or should do. Before he settled on a decision, however, Aiba groaned loudly, the familiar sound of long limbs stretching to their fullest extent. Picking up his heavy feet again, Aiba rounded the beds and made for the bathroom. Jun didn't exhale until he heard the shower go on.

Sitting up, Jun raked a hand through his hair. It was still damp from his own shower earlier and he had a few tangles he tried not to rip but didn't care enough to concentrate on. Shaking his head even as he moved, Jun crawled over to the nightstand to retrieve his wallet.

From the depths of various folds of leather, Jun produced a bent, faded, beaten old business card. He'd never intentionally kept it but he'd found it ferreted away in his belongings enough times that he figured he couldn't get rid of it if he wanted to. Staring at the time-softened card in his hands, Jun took a moment to try to calm down, to focus. Closing his eyes, he sucked in a deep breath through his nose... and promptly caught the floral scent of what had to be a girl's lotion or perfume. The scent twisted a familiar knife in his gut and Jun's eyes flew open again.

"...You were right," he whispered into the dark, already beginning to hate himself for how desperate and selfish this was.

 

Nino had popped in and out a few times over the years. After his lapse in judgment and a serious missed opportunity, Nino had tried to tempt Jun with things he'd have a hard time getting on his own, anything that seemed nigh impossible. Nino had learned a long time ago, however, that even implying that Jun couldn't do something only made him more determined to do it. Act, model, debut, and even write an original song. Admittedly the last endeavor hadn't been what professionals would call a success, but Nino had been yet again amazed by how poignant and heartfelt such an angry kid could be.

Rather than actively drive Jun into the ground, Nino had taken to dropping his card in various places. A reminder that the door was still open, a very classic temptation—although it was one he never anticipated Jun to accept. Nino wouldn't say he'd lost, but he'd grown content to consider the case of Matsumoto Jun a stalemate.

As such, he was understandably baffled and slightly alarmed when he heard Jun's call.

"Speak of the Devil and he shall appear!" Nino announced as he stepped out of the shadows of Jun's hotel room. Jun grimaced and immediately turned his attention to a nearby wall. Nino's attention was similarly drawn and when he realized that there was another person in the suite he gave an indifferent shrug.

"You're the only one who can see or hear me right now," Nino assured him, skipping over to hop up onto the foot of Jun's bed. When Jun did not immediately try to up-end him, Nino's curiosity intensified.

Jun exhaled and his shoulders slackened. When he finally did turn to Nino he did not look directly at the fiend, but instead at the blankets that covered his own lap. After several long seconds of silence, Nino looked around the room. Finding nothing of any real interest, his focus returned to Jun.

"So..." he prompted expectantly, honestly unsure of where this was going.

"I'll do it," Jun said. Another resigned sigh and he looked up. "I'll make a deal."

Despite having worked 10 mortal years to get to this point, Nino hadn't anticipated Jun's words. When he didn't respond, Jun forged ahead.

"It's for anything I want, right?" Jun asked and Nino nodded. Narrowing his gaze, Jun leaned forward dangerously. " _Anything_ , right?"

"Yeah, of course Jun-chan!" Nino assured him with a nod and a nervous laugh. "There's no need to be so dramatic, though. Just think of this like any other contract negotiation!"

"It's nothing like that," Jun glared, clearly not in favor of the small talk tonight.

"You're right, it's not," Nino agreed amiably, pulling himself up onto his knees. Reaching into the dark, Nino pulled a binder of forms from the ether and sat back down as he began to thumb through his file. Finding the pages he was looking for, Nino pulled a BIC ballpoint pen from his pocket and started scribbling in the corner to get the ink going.

"I... I..." Jun paused, covering his face with both hands and rubbing it tensely. Finally letting go, he clasped them in his lap. "I want Masaki. I want him to love me the same way—" Jun's voice cut-off and he swallowed hard. "The same way I love him."

Nino listened quietly, pen poised over paper. He'd been waiting for this day for years and here it was being handed to him. Nino was not a poor winner. A victory was a victory no matter the circumstances in his book, and if it happened to be easier today than it had been in the past then who was he to complain? Looking at a now-grown Jun sitting on a crappy hotel bed in the dark, appearing so completely dejected and broken, however... it felt unsportsmanlike.

Chewing his lower lip contemplatively, Nino snapped his binder shut. Climbing up and off of the bed he took a half step through the wall that joined with the bathroom. Taking a moment to get a peek at Aiba and the exact situation he was dealing with, Nino hummed to himself and came back into the hotel room proper.

"Nope," Nino shook his head, sending Jun's file up in flames.

Jun's jaw hung agape in horror.

"W-what do you mean 'no'?" he demanded, face going red even in the dark of the hotel room.

"Exactly what I said: can't do it," Nino shrugged, tucking his pen behind an ear.

"'Can't' or 'won't'?" Jun seethed, standing from the bed quickly.

"Honestly, a little of both," Nino answered without the vaguest hint of guilt.

"You said I could have anything. That you could _do anything!_ " Jun's volume finally spiked as he made to grab for any part of Nino he could reach.

"Yeeeeeah, about that," Nino said as he began retreating into the shadows. "Everything I've ever told you is a lie."

When Jun sobbed rather than raged at him, Nino did his best not to let the grimace show on his face before disappearing into the dark.

 

The water in the bathroom was silenced and Jun stood at the foot of his bed, completely lost.

 _Fucking Nino._ Had the point of all these years been to get to here? To wear him down and wear him down so that he'd finally reach out, only to have the distant hope of having the impossible be yanked back? Jun didn't even have it in him to be enraged. He'd been fooled, completely. Years of feeling superior for staying ahead of the game and he'd walked right into the trap.

"MatsuJun?" Aiba spoke calmly, sounding far more sober than he had to be.

Jun turned and looked at his friend. Tears of frustration had fallen when he'd advanced on Nino but the flow hadn't continued. Not until he saw Aiba, his best friend, wrapped in a towel and looking at him with that open and complete concern he always gave Jun when he needed it. Only seeing it now worked to amplify the void gaping in his gut.

Aiba always managed to be there at the right times. The man didn't know it, but he'd saved Jun's soul once before. Jun had tried to convince himself over time that he hadn't been as close to the edge as the situation had made it seem, that in the end he wouldn't have gone through with any deal. Deep down, however, he knew that he would have given anything that day just not to be miserable anymore. Then Aiba had come running out, all sunshine and smiles, breaking through the haze of misery that had settled over Jun's mind.

As hot tears teemed down Jun's cheeks Aiba took a step forward and Jun immediately took an even longer step back. Aiba paused, hands out and open. He edged closer and closer, and although Jun tensed he didn't have the energy or the wherewithal to run. 

Burying his head in Aiba's neck, Jun hugged him tightly. What was he supposed to do now?

Exhaustion began to take over and the tears stopped but he continued to cling. As he let Aiba extract himself from the hug, Jun followed his friend's nudges toward his bed again and sat down heavily.

"What's going on?" Aiba asked, taking a seat beside him and rubbing hand up and down Jun's back. He could feel the warmth of Aiba's fingers through the worn cotton of his t-shirt and it relaxed Jun's shoulders in spite of his weariness.

Meeting Aiba's gaze, Jun remained quiet. Like usual there was that concern and caring in the man's face, eyes warm and open, just like their owner's heart. When Aiba ran a hand through Jun's hair, pulling him forward to press their foreheads together gently, Jun closed his eyes and begged the universe to just this once not to let him fuck everything up. 

 

As he looked down through the murky pond water and watched Jun and Aiba hug and talk but heard nothing, Nino wondered if Angels didn't have the right idea. Ostensibly you got more information from both seeing and hearing, but it was far easier to get the bigger picture when you didn't have to process words.

"He really would have done it, you know," Ohno said pleasantly, dropping a baited hook into the pond and sending gentle ripples through the images in the water. "He wouldn't have backed out at the last minute or changed his mind."

"I know," Nino sighed, turning away from the water as the blurry images made his head twinge. "But you know the rules, full disclosure and all that..." Trailing off, Nino glanced back over his shoulder where a wavy image of Aiba had managed to get Jun to sink down on a bed. "I can't give him anything he already had."

"True," Ohno agreed, letting his bare feet hang over the side of his floating dock. "It's not like he knows, though. Did you really have to traumatize him?"

"Pfft, he'll be fine," Nino scoffed, sinking down to sit with his back leaned against Ohno's. "Jun-chan's a smart kid; he'll figure it out eventually. And that Aiba guy's subtle as a brick. Between the two of them..." Nino shook his head. "Besides, I'm not about to do your job _and_ mine just because you can't be assed to give a pair of hormonal boys sharing a private room a nudge."

"I guess that's fair," Ohno agreed with his friend, giving his lure a little tug.

Laughing tiredly, Nino rubbed his face and groaned.

"You're the worst Guardian Angel ever, you know that, right?"

Ohno hummed and Nino felt the Angel's head move in an affirming nod. Letting his own head tip back onto Ohno's shoulder, Nino laughed his first honest laugh in ten years.


End file.
